One of the many bright spots of moving back to New York has to do with the nightlife, and the ridiculous amount of bars and people who go out almost every night of the week. One of those people happens to be The Minority Reporter. He was very upset with me when I decided to stay in St. Louis two years ago rather than moving back to New York then, and conversely was just as excited when I decided to finally move back. (Like a puppy. Cute.--ed.)
We all know from the stories he's told that clearly, this man is a drinker. He obviously knows how to party and have a good time, which is perfect for me because damn it if I don't love me some partying, especially when it's accompanied by alcohol.
Lucky for me, TMR was having himself a little birthday bash shortly after I came back, which I decided was also going to be my welcome home party. Now I can tell you all that there was to be no shortage of alcohol at this lovely event, however, as it turned out, there did happen to be a shortage of females. Most of the chicks I had invited either cancelled on me or played me in the last second (in the span of the half hour just before I left, I had five people tell me they wouldn't be making it out), and the chicks TMR promised would be there didn't show up. What was supposed to be a celebration of my newfound single-ness, turned into, well ... a sausage party.
I could however, take solace in one thing: TMR met himself a fine little Asian dish (which was, in fact, helped along by a mutual friend's long-distance wingmanship). Anyway, TMR and our Asian friend hit it of very well, chatting each other up and making eyes at each other, and it was clear where this night was going.
By about 3 a.m., it was clear the party had died, as everyone aside from our little clique either left or went to bed. I decided to split, knowing I had a long day of painting my room the next day. Our Asian girl's friend was riding the train with me, and since she's living with said Asian girl, she had to come too, much to the dismay of TMR, who was going to stay longer. Well, in the midst of a warm embrace (read: hug), TMR decides, "Fuck it, let's walk them to the train."
We head to the subway, and once inside, our Asian girl decides to call TMR and invite him over for the night. FINALLY! This night is getting somewhere. Now if only that could happen to me (long distance wingmen, UNITE!) Well after an unfortunate Cab incident, TMR comes running to the subway (a half mile, apparently) to meet his Asian princess. By this point, I was already gone, but the rest of the story was relayed to me exactly as follows:
TMR gets on the subway, chats up his China doll and tried to keep some random weirdo from starting a fight with buddy (who was accused of cockblocking but had no idea what that was) over said Asian chick. The whole group (five people or so) go up to the chicks' crib (it's three of them that live there, so only two dudes are there), and at this point, everyone's thinking TMR is in.
The very next thing that happens is our Asian friend suggests everyone sits down and watches episodes from her Sex and the City DVD! Maybe this is some new type of foreplay I don't know about, who knows. The whole gang sits down and watches an episode, TMR's buddy gets uncomfortable and leaves, and then the chicks promptly go to sleep, with TMR cuddling up his Asian girl and I'm guessing holding her hair back when she pukes (how sweet). Point of it all, he didn't get any.
He had to watch Sex and the City, and didn't get any. What is this world coming to?
After all this, we've finally reached the point of the article. ("Finally" is right. Got damn.--ed.) A list of chick shows that are okay for us as guys to watch, for various reasons. If a show does not appear on this list, it is not okay. (Note to Readers: We welcome any suggestions we might have missed, though there aren't any.)
Well, I've only watched the show once. However, critics rave about it, the
chick who plays her sister is
fine, and
Salma Hayek not only produces it, but is actually
in the show every-so-often. I feel like that's reason enough for me. Besides, it's actually well-written and isn't geared towards women at all. It's more of a family show, with a little twist that I can respect. After all, the idea that sex sells is getting a little out of hand these days. It's refreshing to see someone doing it in reverse.
Grey's Anatomy
(From
Lying in Drama)
Again, I've only watched the show once (the episode that was on after the Super Bowl) and actually thought it wasn't that bad. However, if I had to watch it on a regular basis and be subjected to Ellen Pompeo's thin, whiny ass, I would probably kill myself. Besides, I hate when TV shows pull the old stunt of "Will this character die?" when the show is actually
named after said character (when they kept running the commercial of Pompeo's "Meredith Grey" falling into the water and debating her survival - if she didn't, they would have to change the name of the show; let's think a little here, people.) So why is it on this list? Besides the fact that it's a hospital drama, which most dudes seem to like more than I expect, there's
one (two) huge reason(s). (
Agreed--ed.) Or, if you're The Minority Reporter, add
one more.
Again, I'm a dude. My ex didn't like to watch TV, so I wasn't forced watch any of these shows. But
two reasons to watch it, if you have to. Going off the title, it seems like it's about a chick who can talk to or see ghosts. Novel idea. But again, with Love at the reigns, can't be too bad a sight. You can always sneak some cotton balls in your ears if you want.
Okay. Now we're getting into the heart of the list. Again, I've never seen this show (apparently it's been on for five years - I thought it was like two years old or something.) But look at the picture above.
Hilarie Burton,
Bethany Joy Galeotti and
Sophia Bush. Wow. Apparently they play high school chicks, in which case I clearly went to the wrong high school. (
Yeah we did, ha.--ed.) Not to mention it also stars a MILF candidate in
Moira Kelly, star of such fantastic films as
With Honors and
The Cutting Edge, not to mention playing the voice of Adult Nala in
The Lion King. If you have to sit through an hour of (apparently) semi-entertaining television, you could do
a lot worse.
Now here's a show I've watched. Not only is it highly entertaining when the chicks trip, and get ripped to pieces when they think they're attractive, but it stars a Top-5 LLFD draft choice in Tyra Banks, who, no matter what The Dirty Mexican has to say, is like a fine wine, just getting better with age. (
Top 5 is bold, but she fine.--ed.) I was in love with Ms. Banks back in 1996, and that love has been reinvigorated with this show. To be able to watch her exquisiteness makes it completely worth it. Not to mention that the chicks are prancing around most of the time in next-to-nothing, and even though half of them are hideous, there are always a couple that make it worth it -
Toccara would get it; big women need love too. Not to mention I was inadvertently connected (within one or two degrees) to a Top-3 finisher in four of the first five seasons.
Bad Girls Road Trip
I don't have a picture, and I tried to watch this show the other day and got bored after five minutes. It's also on the Oxygen Network (which if you don't know what that is, you're a true man, and I'm proud). But it's a reality show with hot chicks who drive to different cities drinking at bars and doing things that would make their fathers cry. I can think of many half hours of television that would be much worse.
So there you have it. The current list of chick shows that are okay for guys to watch. One note must be made. This in NO WAY means it's okay for a guy to watch any of these shows regularly or on purpose on his own. End of story. That means you, Brooklyn Boy. (
Man, am I glad The O.C. got canceled. Intell does not play.--ed.)
